Sometimes losses become quite unbearable to us. Especially when a loving one part ways. In such situations, we are left wondering “What is Love?”
We ask questions like “If it is really worthy?” “What is the ultimate goal of LOVE?” “What does it mean in the contention of life?” and so on.
Let us have a little chat on this topic…
Love and Independence
We tend to believe love is all about owning or claiming the right to someone. Don’t we often hear the words “She is mine”, “He belongs to me”, and so on?
To the contrary, I believe it is perfectly possible to love someone whilst being independent from each other. While hard to achieve, we must try for that is how we could find long-lasting happiness.
Love and Spiritual Growth
What is the true purpose of love, then?
If I love someone, my goal should be to support that person’s growth. Growth in every aspect. To support that significant other to be more independent and stronger.
Growth is both materialistic and spiritual. The end goal, however, is spiritual growth. If one could see the world with a better vision, take upon challenges with enhanced mental stamina, have a vision of love and kindness, that is where we should aim.
Is Love a Choice?
I often ask this question from many people. “Is love a choice or a feeling?” Most of the time the answer is ‘feeling’. Yes, true. We fall in love, sometimes madly and blindly. We get infatuated. We develop feelings.
But it is possible to fall out of love too, which could be a dreading experience if one is unaware of the true purpose of love.
The story does not and should not end after falling out of love. Sadly though, many stories do. Many get afraid and pull back. If we are patient enough, we will be able to see that falling out of love is just a phase in the journey of love.
This is where you need to make a choice to love. It becomes a new beginning. You need to train yourself to find happiness in the growth of the other. This is precisely why love requires work and discipline.
A Not so Easy Task
Loving is no easy task. It requires hard work over a longer time. One needs patience in listening to other’s feelings and taking a step back if needed.
Training our minds to be happy for another is quite difficult. We humans are naturally envious beings. So, to be happy about someone else, we will have to let go of this jealousy. If we do so, we may be able to uncover the truth behind “What is Love?”
A Road Less Travelled
So, where do all this information coming from?
I was a lost soul once, running away from life. All because, I could not comprehend the desperation in falling out of life. Then I found a book! “The Road Less Travelled” by M. Scott Peck. It simply changed my life, the way I think and how I approach relationships. It helped me to find the answer to “what is love?”
If you read one book in your lifetime, this should be it. Be in a relationship, or about to start one or yet to start one, this book is a must for your library.
The Fruit of Love
So, the answer to the question of “What is Love?” is that it is a “Quest for Growth.”
This might be a little difficult to digest, but as a human, our intention should be to make people we love stronger. If we can train ourselves to be happy seeing their strength, then we have plucked the fruit of love.
We seek pleasure in love. But there is more to it. If the ultimate fruit of love was pleasure, many love stories would have ended in their bloom…
“Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth… Love is as love does. Love is an act of will — namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.”― The Road Less Travelled, M. Scott Peck
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